Dating a college guy
No., Michael Kimmel, Ph D, explores the world of young men between adolescence and adulthood, including the college years.The first rule of what he calls Guyland's culture of silence is that "you can express no fears, no doubts, no vulnerabilities." Sure, feminism appears to be all the rage on campus, but many self-identified feminists — myself included — equate liberation with the freedom to act "masculine" (not being oversensitive or appearing thin-skinned).The fact that women now invest in their ambitions rather than spend college looking for a husband (the old MRS degree) is a good thing.But Rosin doesn't acknowledge that there is still sexism lurking beneath her assertion that women are now able to "keep pace with the boys." Is the fact that some college women are now approaching casual sex with a stereotypically masculine attitude a sign of progress? I read with interest the numerous other articles, books, and blog posts about the "me, me, me generation" (as Joel Stein calls us), our rejection of chivalry, and our hookup culture — which is supposedly the downfall of college dating. I didn't walk away from my conversation with Nate expecting a bouquet of roses to follow. Nate never wrote or called me that night, even after I texted him at 11 p.m. As to why you got weird." But Nate didn't acknowledge his weirdness. But I didn't have the energy to tell Nate that I was sick of his (and many other guys') assumption that women spend their days plotting to pin down a man and that ignoring me wasn't the kindest way to tell me he didn't want to lead me on. I am sitting in my dorm, having just applied Sally Hansen leopard-print press-on nails and wearing a chiffon dress from Forever 21 that my sister told me "looks really expensive." I am waiting to hear from a nerdy but cute guy I'll call Nate*, whom I know from class. " that millennials are "a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend."Williams is not the only one thinking about millennials and our potentially hopeless futures for finding love.I could've told Nate that I thought we had a plan..I was hurt when he ditched me..I was annoyed when he decided to pull away after wrongly assuming I'd wanted to make him my boyfriend. Instead, we ignored each other, knowing that whoever cares less wins.
I'm scared of being totally honest." I've felt this way too.
And when someone does want a relationship, they downplay it.
This leads to awkward, sub-text-laden conversations, of which I've been on both sides."The great irony is that no one seems to enjoy playing the whoever-cares-less-wins game.
Lisa Wade, Ph D, a professor of sociology at Occidental College who studies gender roles in college dating, explains that we're now seeing a hookup culture in which young people exhibit a preference for behaviors coded .
Most of my peers would say "You go, girl" to a young woman who is career-focused, athletically competitive, or interested in casual sex. " when a guy "feels liberated enough to learn to knit, decide to be a stay-at-home dad, or learn ballet," Wade says.
We're all trying so hard not to care, and nobody's benefiting.